by Aaron

 

 

Dear Aaron,

My 8 year relationship just ended when my childhood girlfriend left me. Suddenly I find myself having troubles dating adults as compared to back when I was in college. Is there any fast way I can recalibrate my lifestyle and mentality to be successful in dating other single adults?

-single-

 

 

Mr. Single,

 

Thanks for your question. I’m happy for you that you’re already thinking of moving on instead of asking ‘how do I get my ex back?’ As I keep harping on – too many people never cut their losses in relationships and move on.

 

While I’m glad you’re moving on, the fact that you’re jumping back into the dating scene seems a little fast. Forgive me if I’m being presumptuous but most of us need some time to heal alone before we start dating again. If you’re still carrying emotional baggage from a previous relationship – that doesn’t set the tone for some healthy dating.

 

On lifestyle and mentality, my suggestion would be to spend some time pursuing your interests and passions and not worry about dating for awhile. Preferably something social where you can meet people and make new friends too. For example, if you’re like me and you like singing – join a vocal training class or find some friends to go jamming with. The idea is to give yourself time to heal, while developing yourself in an area you’re passionate about and the kicker: when you’re ready to date again – you’ll probably have met some women who share the same interests that you do too.

 

Oh, and try improving yourself in every way possible too. Basic lifestyle stuff like being healthy, dressing nicely, doing well in your career, managing your finances, etc.

 

 

 

 

Dear Aaron,

“I’ve run out of places to bring my girlfriend for dates. Can you recommend some around KL?”

-kiwi-

 

Hi Kiwi,

 

I’ll assume you’ve dated your girlfriend for awhile already so you probably know her quite well and vice versa. In congruence to the theme of my earlier answer – try going out on dates that jive with you and your girlfriend’s interests. For example, if both of you like outdoor activities – consider doing some wall climbing at a nearby mall (e.g. Camp5 at One Utama comes to mind).

 

As a relationship progresses, I believe it becomes less and less of getting to know each other (which is more important at the beginning or when still dating) and more and more of sharing new experiences together. The possibilities are really endless, depending on what your interests are. If you can’t always come to agreement on where to go, try alternating plans. For example, this week take her to No Black Tie because you like jazz, and next week accompany her to the Suria KLCC Petronas art gallery because she loves art. It’s good for your relationship and you might learn something new too.

 

Did I answer your question? Just in case you wanted some recommendations on places to splash some cash on nice ambience – I like Tamarind Hill, 7ateNine and Tanzini around the KLCC area, The Hill @ Damansara Heights and Ampang Lookout Point. You can get more ideas by looking at the countless food blogs online or at sites like http://www.tripadvisor.com. I’m sure emm-a-man will come out with something like ‘top 10 Saturday Date Night Locations’ someday too. Stay tuned.