Dating distance is possible yes! Learn how to face it and be happy
Being together, divide a movie on the weekends, sleep holding each other all night, you can dial a dinner for two midweek. They seem common activities for most dating. But there are those who can not do it that way at the time.
The distance relationships have a different dynamic. Often hundreds of kilometers separating the two people in love, which may scare some away, to the point of losing that prefer who loves to face this challenge.
While it might be scary to be in a commitment to someone who lives in another city, state or even country can indeed work. Even in an era of social networking and chat applications that facilitate contact among all.
For those who never went through it and faces the dilemma of risking or not into that kind of relationship, it is important to understand how to face this new situation. Furthermore it is essential to know what the couple can do to mitigate the sense of distance and work. And above all, they are as happy as if they lived in the same place.
You are going through this? So this post is for you, huh? The first thing you should think about is how to face a dating distance.
Read also: 10 tips to maintain the health of your marriage
How to face the distance dating?
One of the first things that comes to mind who is at the chance of a long-distance relationship is: fear. Fear not work, how will face the situation of not bear to miss, not to deal with this new dynamic, etc. There are so many fears that many people simply lock on that possibility.
The Doctor of Clinical Psychology and couples therapist Adriana Nunes points out that one of the main ones is related to jealousy. "Most people believe that physical proximity prevents betrayal, which is not true. To overcome this kind of fear, good communication is key. "
And she's not just talking about talking constantly by WhatsApp. It has indeed a sincere communication, open and honest. "And when I say good communication this means that members of the couple must be sincere both with respect to important things (nature of the relationship, doubts, uncertainties, expectations, future plans ...) and in trivial matters (the day day each, for example), "explains the expert.
This is a basic principle that should be present in all types of relationships, is not it? Actually, there are several things that these two forms have in common, explains Adriana: "Communication difficulties are inherent in any relationship, be it in person, is the distance. Lack of support, confidence and level of commitment also appear frequently. "
Also read: 12 cute and romantic videos that celebrate the love of couples
But how to get around this? Get in there another key issue for the relationships in which the couple do not see constantly. "The important thing is to have complicity, proximity (although only emotional) support and respect." Says the therapist. In addition, trust is essential for those who opts for a commitment of these.
You must have noticed that many people see in disbelief courtships in which one partner lives away from the other, is not it? But what motivates this? According to Adriana Nunes, is the myth that such a commitment would not be so serious. Or would facilitate the betrayal due to lack of physical contact, which is not true.
"Another taboo is find that distance makes the partners idolize each other, failing to see the partner's faults." Also says the therapist. However, with the living, even through virtual means and by phone, they will appear and it becomes possible to break this idealization if it occurs.
An important detail is to understand that not all dating the distance are equal. Also because each appointment is unique, is not it? "It's very different you're dating someone in person and then this relationship become the distance, than the dating already start distance or, in the most complex situation of the partners do not know personally." Explains the couples therapist.
So there are no specific rules on the subject. The important thing is that if you fell in love with someone who is far away now, and decided to live this love, to be allowed to go slowly discovering how to work the dynamics between you so you can work.
Read also: 7 signs that you are in a healthy relationship
5 simple things that become important when dating the distance
Each relationship is unique is a fact. But there are important tips that can be done and that may help you if you are in this situation. See 5 simple things that can make your relationship more light and tasty away.
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Communication is essential for those who are distant from each other. This is because as the living next is not possible, is a way of rapprochement between you. Adriana Nunes indicates that speak as much as possible throughout the day, without interfering with their daily activities, of course. "They can be quick messages by WhatsApp, Skype or Facetime conversations, e-mail, even handwritten letters (if you want to be romantic and vary)."
But it must be spoken between the couple and combined the best way, not to disrupt the routine of any of you, or it can cause any discomfort detrimental to the routine.
But to talk about? The therapist gives the advice: "Talk about all sorts of issues, things that happened throughout the day (however trivial they are) important issues, problems, fears. The important thing is to share. And know the routines of each other. This facilitates communication and also "be present", although by far. "
2. Do activities together, even if physically separated
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When we are in a relationship like to share some activities with our partner, is not it? So how about doing something, even if the distance? The therapist indicates some activities that can be done together, "see the same TV series, doing a photography course or cooking, playing the same sport, etc."
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In addition to bringing a sense of closeness, it could serve as a way to bring subjects in common, as well as being an activity to be carried out when they are together.
3. Get closer to family
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In addition to demonstrating the seriousness of the commitment, contact the couple's family, according to Adriana, will help in the case of a party decide to move from city to approach the other. Having the partner's family of host is essential for this change in your life.
4. Treat, even if the distance
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Surprise it's all good. And do this when you are in a long-distance relationship is key. "You do not have to be anything expensive or have a significant date. Sometimes a simple card, flowers, book, or any other object that has meaning make all the difference, "suggests Adriana.
This gesture, in addition to being a demonstration of affection, helps you to be present in a person's life.
5. Strive to be together
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Even if you get used to the kilometers that separate them, being close is too tasty, is not it? Then strive for it. To program up in advance to take advantage of holidays, keep an eye on airfare, enjoy frequent flyer programs. The important thing is to kill the nostalgia whenever possible!
Take a dating distance is fully possible, even in the long term. However, it takes effort, commitment and love of both parties to make it work.
And the therapist Adriana Nunes gives one last tip, super important for those who are entering this dynamic for the first time: "When the longing tighten, remember that sometimes it's also nice to have some time just for you, you can enjoy as you wish : hanging out with friends or family, studying more, dedicated to work, acquiring new hobbies, etc. "
So what are your fears and experience with this kind of relationship? Tell us in the comments! Divide with us all think about it!